Battered.

women3

Between these eyes, a dark pit
Senseless nothings
Pried open and he is here to stay.

Played tug of war for years
In. Out. Fall.
Loved too hard, too fast
They tell you to snap out of the hurt
But that hurt defines this mind like no other.
The first stab at innocence. The first touch. Yearning.
The high you feel, scared you’ll never be able to feel it again, so you stay.

That’s what people like him do.
Dementor he is. Blowing halos out of ashes, making the death of you look beautiful.
Curiosity is the art that strikes him.
He convinces you that you are not enough.
Not through the murmur of his soft lips, but through his prying eyes that looks at other flesh with desire.
So you present your body as an apology for not being everything and more.

You cover your wounds and throw it as far back as you can.
Hit. Slap. Punch. Pull.
The scars are here to stay. While the battered heart is left lingering.
There should be no room for such agony, you say.
But there he comes again and sweeps you off your feet.

He knows how to console you.
His fingers hold your aching mind and he speaks a song of love… of forever.
It awakens all hope that was lost. And you go in search of pulp in the desert.
Disappointed that his empty promises couldn’t save you.
You close your eyes and re-live the short moments that you once smiled.
Re-born every time, just to die again.
Short-lived but tender, so you crave… you go back, addicted to hopelessness.

After all is said and done, I guess I’m here…
You say he loves you
But please remember he once said he loved me too.

Relationships.

tumblr_mxudx3UE4k1r1arpmo1_500

The boundaries created by man amuse me. Boundaries made in vain and insecurity. Don’t talk to him, your boyfriend will get mad. Don’t dance with her, your girlfriend will be jealous. Does your partner know you are here tonight? We lose ourselves in the presence of love…. Forgetting what we want in order to please the person we dearly care for. Admiration and love should be ongoing, contagious, bottomless. I admire many… and I fall in love time and time again…. With people’s smiles, their thoughts, passions and sometimes even the way they eat.

I am a woman who is in a wonderful relationship with a handsome young man, but I admire not only him. There are many other men and women that I have fell in awe with… their words consume my interest. Through them I learn… I live…  Being in a relationship, does not mean you are dead… senseless to what the world has to offer.

We are so afraid of being cheated on, we put up walls and trap the ones we love. We stop them from experiencing new feelings… we don’t allow them to grow as individuals, because we are scared they will change without us… so we suffocate them with what we think is affection…. poison, draining the life that we once loved… making love miserable.

We find the need to prove that we are faithful. So we limit interactions, always reporting and checking in…. No new friends… Even if we make any, we need to make sure they know we are “taken”…. We allow labels to depict our behaviour, so our partners can feel safe….

Why…

You Owe Me Nothing.

cba1bf1485b7904f31f024eca9a307e5

From the day I bring you home, I promise to make you feel warm… with my kisses, my love, my soul. If you fall and hurt your fragile little body, I will tell you to cry, then hug you till the hurt goes away. I promise to learn as we grow together. I am no better than you. I may be older, but I still have a lot to learn. I will admit to it. I will say sorry and thank you. I will allow you to guide me, just like how I will guide you. When your heart is broken, I will sit beside you in silence and take in the pain, as we cry together. I want you to feel safe. This world can be ugly, but you will be strong enough to face it. If you ever feel alone in the chaos, I will be there. Be that noise, slip, fall, scream, break. Let life take its course. No judgement. I will be your crutches. Lean on me love. You owe me nothing.

Tick Tock.

everything-will-okay--large-msg-137624210325

The words “everything will be okay” can make a world of a difference to someone who is hurting. It’s this blind assurance we all seek for… We want someone to jump in and save us from the heartache…

With this being said, every individual is entitled to sadness. It’s this unsaid right we all have. You are allowed to be upset and, it’ll be okay. Tears are not a sign of weakness and, anger is not a sign of strength. There is no such thing as a stupid problem. Humans are meant to have emotions. To each their own.

****

We live in a world that is racing time. We act like we are going to get an Olympic gold medal at our funeral for living a meaningless life. People are too busy to sit down and chat about beautiful nothings. We seek happiness in all the wrong places… temporary, transitory, pathetic. Since when did the inability to express emotion become the new fad? We stress out about taking business communication courses, but forget how to communicate our feelings. We hug less, text more. Visit less, call more. etc. etc. etc. We have turned into drones of convenience.

Take a break from your busy life and be that shoulder for someone to lean on. Make a stranger on the bus smile. Take a moment and compliment someone on the street. Take those ear phones out and listen to the silly conversations around you. Hug. Pay a visit to a friend or family member, and just spend some time. Tell them about your day, ask them about theirs. And never forget to say I love you…

Unfortunate.

Digital-Fine-Art-Photography-by-Luis-Beltran-4455634536

We bury ourselves in a pile of nothings
Expecting to physically touch happiness
Indulging in a sense of urgency
To feel significant
To forget all that is wrong with this world
We fight time, nature, emotions
We poison ourselves and lay in lust
Afraid of being alone
Waiting for others to confirm our self-worth
With numbers. With paper. With metal.
Unfortunate.

First World Issue.

picture

We sit on our cozy couches
Judging the world

-He is a terrorist
-I heard that country is at fault
-These protestors are taking over the streets
-Look at them causing chaos, trying to get attention
– Are we paying more taxes because of them?
-Why can’t these people just be normal?

Given limitless access to education,
But we still educate ourselves through gossip
And popular media

No one has time for our privileged opinions
We are not the ones starving,
Or dying from the lack of fresh water,
Rape, gunshots, bombs, abuse
Children cut up and tossed
Women raped and thrown naked onto the streets

These people are deprived
Deprived of …
Love, hope, sanity, trinity…
Their voices have been torn out of their throats
Not a single soul has the courage to ask, why?

And here we are on our cozy couches
Pointing and bickering
About our first world issues
Shame on us.

Numb.

d_russandreyn_c

He set on a journey
Between my five year old legs
Puncturing a hole, leaving me dead
Family, trust, guidance…
Bullshit.

Let me tell you a few words you don’t want to hear,
molestation, pedophilia, incest, rape.
Why do we struggle to articulate these words?
Why do we close our eyes and cape the pain?
It’s because we praise the culture of disguise
We demise confrontation
With self, with love, with sex
But that is not what this is about…
This is about the confusion I felt when he touched me
The illusion called love that tainted my heart
The struggle to forget and, not knowing how to accept
The responsibility she had when I told her
Why didn’t she make it stop?
Lies, she lied, he lied
So, I lied.
Whirl wind of secrets.
Basket of presents
I thought I was special.
So, I shut up.
Then I asked, I pleaded, the fingers won’t stop,
Up and in
I ran, he caught
But it was all in my head
I said, she said
But why didn’t it stop?

Gen Y.

TB-Template

“Baby Boomers vs. Generation Y”. At my previous workplace this has always been a topic. I’ve been told that the “Ys” are not as responsible as the baby boomers, and that we take employment as a joke. I beg to differ, we may be dancing to the beat of our own drum, but that does not mean we are irresponsible. I think many of my fellow “Ys” would agree that life is not as easy as the previous generation makes it seem.

Many baby boomers are under the impression that a secondary education makes it easy to get a well paying career, but this is not always true. Yes, as Canadians our Generation Y is more educated, thanks to national student loans and accessible education. Unfortunately, a college or university undergraduate degree is treated like a high school diploma, because EVERYONE has one! This means that we are still struggling to find employment. Not only that, but most jobs today are contract positions, hence, leaving young individuals unemployed periodically.

Unemployment aside, let’s talk about work ethic. I’ve been told that our generation does not have appropriate working habits. In other words, we are on our phones or the internet way too often. I’m sorry, but just because you may look like you are working does not mean you are. Many employers are baby boomers, and they believe that a cell phone is a huge distraction, but they don’t understand that using a phone is second nature to us “Ys”. It does not take much thought, and checking our phones is usually out of habit. Just like how many baby boomers look at their watch every so often.

Generation Y strives for comfort and customization! The older generations work on a clock, 9am – 5pm, being the average. I may be surfing the net at 11am at work because my brain is not functioning, but that would mean I will go home and finish any outstanding work, or stay late at the office. At the end of the day both generations meet the same deadline. We have technology that allows us to work from home, why not use it?

In order for us “Ys” to be productive we prefer comfort over order, and this is difficult for the baby boomers to grasp. Also, we are all about technology, we want to finish work in the shortest amount of time, and we want to make it easy. Baby boomers may call this lazy, but I say we are genius! With this being said, not all careers give room to work from home so generation Y should be mindful of that.

Another issue that has been irking me is… I despise managers who micromanage. STOP! When managers breathe down my neck, it does not motivate me to work harder, it annoys me. Many of my previous managers were baby boomers and not all of them micromanaged. But there were a few who used the nature of the “Ys” as an excuse to watch our every move. Personally, when a manager doesn’t trust me, I start to care less about my work and that affects productivity. Another aspect employers should be mindful of is that generation Y is driven by the desire to help make change. We want to make a positive impact. Many of us have a hard time working without a purpose, and I think this goes for any generation. The only difference is that baby boomers have been taught to believe that the working world operates through fear of authority….. NO IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!

Also a relaxed environment is highly preferred! As an employer if you would like efficiency, you would have to make generation Y genuinely care about you. Friends over the institution, is how generation Y operates. Personally, I find myself going above and beyond for my current manager in comparison to my previous one. The only difference is… I actually like my current manager because she is more personable and talks to me like a friend. As a result, I am willing to stay back and finish work that does not even belong to me, just so I can make my manager’s life easier. Not only that, but I go out of my way to fix conflict because I genuinely care.

Lastly, generation Y prefers instant feedback and recognition. It is much more effective than end of the year achievement awards. We are accustomed to everything being instant, from food to everyday communication. One pat on the back goes a long way!

Overall, I am not saying generation Y is any better than previous generations, we are just different and different can be good!

Summer Time.

33938_362560043779933_1810918260_n_large

Summer is fast approaching and here we go again with the crazy diets. Being fit and healthy should be happening all year round. With this being said, being healthy doesn’t mean being muscular or thin. You don’t need to be a size 27 to be healthy or beautiful.

Many men and women struggle with their body image, me included. It evidently sucks to be told that you don’t have the right body to wear a bikini. It’s either you are too big or too thin… If you are a larger woman, stores usually carry swimsuits that cover a large portion of your body, why? What is wrong with showing off your big thighs or some belly fat? And if you are a thin woman, the bikini will come stuffed with pounds of padding. What is wrong with having small boobs? And god forbid you are a bigger woman with small boobs (sarcasm intended).

We also tend to forget that people who are thin are allowed to be insecure; being called “skinny” is not always a compliment. This may be a shock to some people but, insecurities come in all shapes and sizes. We are no one to judge.

Beauty is subjective, and we tend to dismiss that the minute summer comes around. Every woman is not going to have an hour glass figure and every man is not going to have broad shoulders with washboard abs. SO WHAT? Be healthy, eat right and exercise.

Enjoy your beautiful bodies this summer, show off that skin and be proud of the way you look! Being healthy is a wonderful choice, but don’t let a diet negatively impact your life.

Sandglass.

14925678811_bb079d8d0a

Foolish decisions that result in blissful moments
Short-lived, but our fondest memories
So caught up living a life that is safe, yet promising
With people who are stabilizing

Too busy in search of concrete
We miss out on the indefinite
Why be scared of the pain that may follow?
Why limit opportunities of happiness?